Endless Acai bowls with activated seed mix ( seeds soaked overnight in coconut water) topped with cinnamon, coco flakes and blueberries . Show me your fruity breakfast that you started this week with? Tag #lonijane
Don’t give me that “I don’t eat breakfast” bullshit. It’s too early to be an asshole. The fiber in the oatmeal helps control your blood sugar and keeps you feeling full until lunch. The quinoa gives your morning a little extra protein because why the fuck not? Start your day right by owning the shit out of it. CARPE FUCKING DIEM.
1 cup steel cut oats (they aren’t all mushy like regular oatmeal)
½ cup quinoa (I used scarlet quinoa but you grab whatever you can find)
1 teaspoon olive or coconut oil
4 cups water
½ cup almond milk (or whatthefuckever milk you prefer)
Heat up the water in a kettle on the stovetop or in the microwave until it is near boiling. Put the quinoa in a strainer and rinse that shit so it isn’t bitter after you cook it. Heat the oil in a saucepan over medium heat and add the steel cut oats. Stir them around and cook until they smell kinda toasty, like 1-2 minutes. Add the quinoa and the water and bring it all to a boil (this won’t take long because the water should already be hot as fuck). Turn down the heat on the pot and let it simmer. Go check your tumblr or Facebook shit while it cooks for about 20 minutes. It should taste done now, not hard but still a little chewy. Add the milk and turn off the heat. Serve with fresh fruit, nuts, maple syrup, brown sugar, whateverthefuck will get you through your day.
Serves 4 (love to hit snooze? double the recipe and heat up the leftovers all week)
It’s below freezing and you’ve been walking through people’s goddamn cough clouds all day. At this point, soup is fucking inevitable but don’t grab some condensed crap. Your body needs some vitamins, not a shitload of sodium. Roast up this bad motherfucker and elevate your soup game.
ROASTED TOMATO SOUP
1 28 ounce can of plain, peeled whole tomatoes (get one that is low on sodium, check that motherfucking label)
3 teaspoons of olive oil
4-5 cloves of garlic (still in their skin)
1 medium russet potato
1/2 a small head of cauliflower (about 1/3 pounds)
1/2 a medium yellow onion
1 tablespoon of diced fresh rosemary (if you need to use dried, use only 1 teaspoon)
3/4 teaspoon dried thyme
2 1/2-3 cups vegetable broth
salt and pepper to taste
Warm up your oven to 325 degrees and grab a rimmed baking sheet or big ass roasting pan. Pour 1 of the teaspoons of oil on the baking sheet and smear it around evenly to make sure nothing is going to fucking stick. Drain the tomatoes but save the juice in a separate glass, we’ll use that shit in a little bit. Slice the tomatoes in half lengthwise and place them cut side up on the baking sheet. Try to keep about 1/3 of the sheet empty for future veggies. Roll the cloves of garlic in the oil on the pan, and place them near the tomatoes. We want to leave the skin on the garlic so those little bastards roast and get all sweet. Add a small pinch of salt over the tomatoes and roast all that in the oven for 30 minutes. If you can’t remember to check the clock, set a timer. If you can’t do either then why the fuck are you in the kitchen with sharp objects?
While the tomatoes are roasting, skin the potato and chop it, the cauliflower, and onion up into dime-sized pieces. You want to end up with around 1 cup of chopped potato, 1 1/4 cup chopped cauliflower, and 1 cup chopped onion. Toss them all together in a bowl with the remaining oil, rosemary, thyme, and a small pinch of salt and pepper. After the tomatoes have roasted for 30 minutes, add the seasoned vegetable mixture to the pan, spread it out as much as possible, and roast all that shit for another 30-40 minutes. You just want to make sure the potato and cauliflower are tender and a little golden in some spots. Take the pan out of the oven and let it cool for a couple minutes. Squeeze the garlic out of its skin; it should pop right out and smell fucking dope. Add the rest of the shit from the baking sheet and the roasted garlic to a blender and pour in the broth. Run it on high until the soup looks smooth. Pour all that into a pot on the stove, warm it over a low heat, and add the remaining tomato juice you saved from the can (it should be around 1/2 a cup). If you want a thinner soup, add the extra half cup of broth but I like it thick. Taste and add more salt, pepper, or herbs to get it right for you. Serve hot with some bread so you can mop your bowl clean when your spoon becomes fucking useless.
Makes enough for 4 mugs or 2 regular bowls